maryrosecook

This evening, my colleague, Mike, and I left the Ableton office and got on the U-Bahn. We battled through the cold, found the right street, then the right number, then followed someone into the right building.

We came up the stairs and into the lesbian bookshop. There was to be a showing of Tan de repente, an Argentinian film about two punk rock girls who take a saleswoman on a road trip and try and seduce her.

We found a few women hanging around, one of them in debate with a bloke. My German is not great, but it became clear that men are not allowed in the lesbian bookshop. So, my colleague, the other guy and I left.

I was once involved in organising a feminist health weekender that was for women and woman-identified trans people only. I felt that the event suffered because of that policy: the perspectives and ideas of my male friends were missing. Further, I don’t see how such a policy can be anything other that bigoted: it’s prejudice in the literal sense, pre judgement.

The most frequently used justification for such a policy is based on creating safe spaces. If you exclude those who a group feels could impinge on their freedom, you create a haven where people can act and think as they wish without fear of harm.

However, I think this is mistaken. Just as much harm can come from those within a community as from those without. Therefore, no security is gained for the loss in freedom.

It seems far more practical and inclusive to let the group decide what kind of behaviour is acceptable and then deal with any grievances if they arise.

I once helped to run a queer party in a social centre. The venue had three policies: everyone was equal, and there were to be no bigoted language and no violence. The key was that these policies gave everyone a hint on how they should behave, but were so vague that problems could be dealt with on a case by case basis, without reference to rules.

This meant that the queer party had no requirements of queerness. However, when some drunk guys came in at four in the morning and one of them made a personal remark that my friend found offensive, it was perfectly OK to ask them to leave.

There are a few cases where exclusion seems reasonable. I read about another feminist gathering where the sexual abuse survivor workshop was for survivors of abuse only. Counselling, and consultations with solicitors and doctors are protected by law. The common element seems to be that these are purely about private matters.